Invasion of Male Models, Among Other Things

I've realized that there are extreme misconceptions about the weather in Milan. Let me just put it this way: coming from Houston, I can deal with sweltering heat... But there is no AC in my apartment or any of the public places I've been (except for the buses), so here it's been a bit of a struggle fighting with the consequences of leaving my window open at night in hopes of a breeze. Thank you mosquitos. I've been debating as to whether or not I should buy a fan so I can freeze myself to death at night and possibly get pneumonia, but then I realized the sad, unfortunate reality: I would have to carry said fan two blocks (it looks heavy from what I've judged) and because I lack extreme athletic ability, I would probably collapse from exhaustion. Can you say waif world problems?


Aside from the heat invasion, there has been another, and this time it's possibly hotter. Men's Fashion Week in Milan starts on the 23rd but they've already gathered to the city to go to castings for the shows in a ritual-like fashion. Yesterday, when most of them arrived, they could be seen everywhere: the underground metro, the buses, the streets, and outside castings smoking dramatically. 


How to Spot A Model in Milano in 6 Steps:

1. We all carry the same maps. I think it's an agency conspiracy thing. And we use them so often that they're in our hands at all times. The maps themselves are so frackin' huge that I could easily wear mine as a burka if needed.
2. We also carry our portfolio books with us everywhere. This is probably the most easy identification of a model because on the outside the portfolios generally say I'M A MODEL or something like that.
3. [Male] models cannot transition from runway walk to normal walk - the whole via/plaza is their runway and you better move. Seriously their roll does not slow down. 
4. [Male] models love their Beats by Dre. and jam out like nobody's watching. 
5. [Male] models have jaw bones and cheek bones that are sharp enough to slice open your heart, until you talk to them for about five minutes and already want them to shut up. Some of them are actually funny though, but still.
6. [Male] models prefer the use of a longboard when not walking. Several times they longboard inside the supermarkets through the aisles and other times they just like to stylishly pose around with their board whilst waiting.

(River Viiperi wants to be your boyfriend; Male models in real life)

(Fellow Houstonian, Cole Mohr, addresses the hardships of modeling)

(Mark Cox shows you how models really live)